For kicks and giggles, I’m listing a few of my favorite things that helped make quarantine life a little brighter.
]]>I had a Zoom with friends the other night and one asked, “Quickfire, what are the go-to products or things you have sworn by during the pandemic?”
I couldn’t think of anything truly amazing off the cuff so I blurted out, “Parmesan crisps!”
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I highly recommend you look them up.
And for kicks and giggles, I’m listing a few of my favorite things that helped make quarantine life a little brighter.
What are some of your favorite pandemic lifelines? Please share with us in the comments below.
]]>We are 2 for 2 when it comes to sleep-training success so I’m here to share our experiences for any other parent(s) who may need a nudge. I wrote a “dummy’s guide” after we did it with H and I’ve tweaked it to include the alternate method we used with Sky.
]]>We are 2 for 2 when it comes to sleep-training success so I’m here to share our experiences for any other parent(s) who may need a nudge. I wrote a “dummy’s guide” after we did it with H and I’ve tweaked it to include the alternate method we used with Sky.
H was borderline colicky for the first 4-5 months of his life — we could barely put him down for a breather at any time — and when a friend told us about the game-changing-ness of sleep-training, we knew it was something we had to try. We were living in a 2-bedroom apartment at the time in San Diego, and I felt bad letting H cry at all with neighbors downstairs, but luckily they had a baby who was only slightly older than H and they told us repeatedly they heard nothing.
I was introduced to sleep-training by Pamela Druckerman’s “Bringing Up Bebe.” It’s about an ex-pat living in France (I lived in Paris for three years growing up) and the perspectives on French and American parenting styles were both humorous and informative. What Druckerman shares with her readers is that French parents let crying babies lie. Not for long, but for a good five minutes, or “the pause,” to give them a chance to fall back asleep without parental intervention. I didn’t fully understand what it would feel like to ignore a baby’s cries, but pre-H I was all about embracing this method as a soon-to-be mom. And little did I know the “pause” would become our go-to sleep method with Sky.
The phrase “sleep-training” still makes me cringe. I wish we used a more gentle phrase when discussing the act of helping babies sleep at night. Sleep-enabling sounds better and more accurate. We are, after all, encouraging better sleep habits. Training alludes to a kind of agreement on the baby’s behalf and they’re certainly unwilling participants in this endeavor.
1. The Dockatot
Some like the standalone bassinets (Halo, Snoo, etc.), some may put baby in the crib from the get go. We have a very small master bedroom and there was no space for anything to be placed by the bed, so we resorted to the Dockatot that we used mainly for travel with Harrison. It was a lifesaver. Sky slept in it between me and my husband for the first five months of her life. They are pricy, but worth every penny. They serve as a safe nap spot, but they're also a good spot to plop baby down safely if needed.
This thing is indestructible. And indispensable. We have had the Dohm on for 12 hours a night, for 4.5 years and the thing has never faltered once. Yes, it's nice to have a baby who can sleep through chaos, but it's nice at nighttime to turn this thing on.
3. Some sort of bouncer (preferably Baby Bjorn or Fisher Price)
We have one of each mentioned above (thanks to the generosity of friends) and we highly recommend both of them. They are clutch if you have to put baby down in a pinch, to run to the bathroom, to grab a snack, etc. Maybe you haven't showered in days (it happens). We'd probably be fine with one, but it's convenient having a couple in the house since you can leave them in different rooms and plop baby down in them as needed. The Fisher Price ones are a little bulky and not as easy to lug around as the Bjorn, which was our go-to for road trips/travel.
4. Baby carrier (Lille or Ergobaby)
This is another situation where I find it's useful having more than one. I recommend keeping one in the car and having one in the house. There were a few times when we went somewhere and we didn't have one and I would have preferred using it over a stroller. I started having major back issues when H was about 2, so while we used the carriers loads (probably too much) with him, we limited carrier use a bit with Sky for this purpose.
5. The Puj tub for baby's first bath (in the sink)
Giving the newborn a bath was always a two-person job in our house. One person would hold the baby upright in the sink while the other quickly soaped and rinsed. We could never have done either of this without the Puj. You just drop it in the sink and baby sits on it looking up at you wide-eyed, but comfy. Once we graduated from the sink, we started to use the blooming flower bath cushion.
6. A nail kit
I have a little plastic container by my nursing chair with a nail file and a baby nail clipper. I've trimmed Sky's nails countless times while she dozes off nursing. Baby nails grow like weeds and you want to keep up with them before you wake baby up to find scratches on her face.
7. Swaddles
Buy ones with velcro, buy the Aden + Anais muslin ones, buy whatever, but swaddles are an absolute must. We were a bit loose with swaddling in the very beginning, but found when we wrapped Sky like a burrito she slept better.
8. Baby monitor
We have an Aventi that we used for our oldest son. We opted for the audio-only monitors — we found the video ones were just too stressful. If you live in a small apartment you might not need a monitor as you may likely hear the sounds of baby without one. In a house, however, it's a godsend.
9. Carseat cover
Google carseat covers and hundreds will come up. We have one we have stuck with since 2016 and it's the original elastic Milksnob cover. They have tons of fun prints and they serve multiple purposes: windbreaker, carseat cover, blanket and even nursing cover.
10. Car mirror
We wouldn't make it in the car if I couldn't see baby's face in the mirror. They sell them at Target, just plop it on the headrest where the baby faces from her carseat and voila.
Odds and ends:
What are some of your tried and true baby products? Please let us know in the comments! And we'd love it if you shared this with any friends who may be expecting.
]]>I hopped on a Zoom happy hour the other day. It was organized as a surprise for a coworker who was about to go on leave in preparation for her second baby. I’m not close with her, though I am a distant admirer, and yet I was called out on a few occasions as the one who might have the answers since we just went through the “second kid in a pandemic” thing months before. While I’m very comfortable on Zoom with my immediate team and smaller groups, I get a bit frazzled in larger groups. I’m not quite sure what I said, or if it was helpful. I Slacked her a few of my thoughts as sort of an appendix after the Zoom ended. And the questions and concerns she had, which I’d similarly experienced, inspired me to write this post. As is often the case, I am much more adept at conveying my truth in words.
“What’s it like?”
“How do you share the love?”
“How do you make sure the first doesn’t feel forgotten?”
These were a few of my coworker’s concerns, and ones I fully remember asking my friends who had had their seconds (and even thirds) way ahead of me.
I’ll start at the beginning.
Our son was just shy of 4 when his baby sister arrived. That’s nearly four years of being the star, the golden apple of our eyes, the cutest, the funniest, the silliest, the fastest, the smartest, the BEST thing to have ever happened to us. And we let him know this a hundred million gazillion times a day. And then some. His grandparents — he’s blessed to have four — also showered him with love and adoration, and gifts and care packages for every holiday, and surprises in between. I would call him "my little prince,” though truthfully he was a little king.
In the days leading up to having H, our bulldog rescue Agnes was our everything. I didn’t know how I would love anything as much as I loved her. She is an old girl these days, at least 11, possibly 12, and she is snoring softly beneath my chair. She was always by my side, day and night, and my mom even joked, “God forbid when you have a child!”
I openly shared these feelings with friends and family, and one girlfriend said you’re not divvying up love or sharing it, per se, your heart just grows. And that’s what happened when we had H. It reminds me of the Elizabeth Stone quote on having children: “It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
H came and we were so thunderstruck by him and what being a first-time parent entailed, it took me a while to process. But yes, my heart erupted like Mt. Vesuvius and what I thought I knew love to be before H melted away like a flower in lava. And it was replaced by this new wild and all-consuming mom love.
Sadly for Agnes — as it so often goes when pet parents become real parents —she was quickly cast aside (I even wrote her and our cat a little love letter apology to make myself feel better). I hate to admit it, but Agnes went from being treated like a person in our household to being treated like a dog. She took it like a champ, and has been nothing but a guardian, if not a second mom, to the babies.
Fast forward to last year at this time. We were getting closer to baby’s due date, and as my belly grew bigger, so did my fears and concerns. The main one: Could I love another baby as much as I loved H?
I didn’t think it was possible. I feared not having a similar bond, I feared I couldn’t love her as much as H, I feared losing my son and our relationship, I feared him feeling unspecial and unloved. I even feared the baby would come out looking like Creeper in “The Black Cauldron.” Insane, I know.
H was old enough to somewhat understand I had a baby growing in my tummy, and the notion he was getting a sibling. Some of his favorite shows like “Peppa Pig” and “Daniel Tiger,” which highlighted big sibling-little sibling relationships, were a big help. But I don’t think he fully understood the impact it would have on his day-to-day life. None of us did.
I tried to sneak in "last" adventures, of just mommy and him, and of all three of us. One night we were all piled into his bed reading stories and I cried. I didn't let H see, but my husband knew what was going on. I whispered that I was going to miss our little gang of three. And he nodded and said, "It's OK. It's just going to be even more fun."
He was right, but I didn't believe it in that moment. And that's OK. It's OK if you need a moment, or moments, to reflect on your special first-born and their time with just you. And it's OK to cry.
I'm here to tell you I eventually embraced what my friend had said the first go-around, and low and behold, it happened again. I felt like a frigatebird: My chest was ready to pop at any moment. My heart doesn’t fit in its cavity anymore and I was giddy with baby fever and love.
How did H take it? Outwardly, he’s been nothing but a doting big brother. He loves to make her laugh and squeal, which he does often. She’s a part of the family whenever he talks about us doing things, or going on trips, or even in his drawings. Which I love. And while he’s never acted out towards her in any fashion, mommy and daddy dealt with some intense tantrums a few months back. On the surface they were tied to getting dressed or leaving in the mornings, though we also guessed they had something to do with second-sibling-ness.
There are some events like bedtime and tubby that we try to make special and fun, during which he always has one parent’s undivided attention, but some days we need to remind him when he asks for Lego help, “Mommy is watching the baby and can’t do two things at once. This doesn’t mean I love you any less.” We also try to have special one-on-one days with him, though admittedly not as often as we’d like.
Another friend gave me a good reality check, "One is like one. Two is like 10." I'll add if you felt like your heart was walking around with one child, it'll feel like it's running around and getting thrown around like a hot potato with two. There is no ride on the planet like it.
Did you have similar thoughts before a second child? Or any tips to making the first-born still feel special and loved? We’d love to hear your thoughts.
]]>
January 2020 in Carmel with my mom. Pre-baby bump and pre-pandemic.
In conversations I’ve had with friends, I hear the phrase “You’ve been through a lot” often. One coworker told me, “I’m surprised you made it this far without having a total breakdown.” Weirdly, a part of my brain is wired to deny that we've been through a lot. “Everyone’s had a tough year,” I think. But, when I list all the things that have happened to us in 2020, it helps me come to terms with yes, we HAVE been through a lot, and most might experience one of these life events, excluding the pandemic, every five or so years, if at all.
It's my M.O. to let things rumble around internally before I explode. Maybe 2021 is the year I let go of that. While talking to a therapist is helping a lot, writing also helps me. So here's a little snapshot of the road to "this far."
My boss said the following words to me before the Christmas break — we all got a week off between Christmas and New Year’s — “I hope you get some R&R.”
At the time, I was saying, “Yes, saaame.” I was naive and hopeful that I would get some R&R. With two children. At home. During a pandemic.
At one point during our staycation, I was fiendishly doing dishes and someone, likely H, asked me for something or to do something and I blurted out, “I can’t do it all! I just can’t! We need HELLLLLPUHHHH!” While I spoke in an incredulous, defeated and outraged tone, I meant every word. But I also laughed at how pitiful I sounded.
Was something actually wrong with me not being able to handle this?
My husband looked up at me from his chair with a surprise and eyebrows raised, “This is my life every day!”
I went back to work the following Monday, and needless to say, I felt neither rested nor relaxed. I was exhausted. More than I had been the week before. I thanked goodness I was able to return to work to get a break from the madness of the Christmas break. Was this my life now for the next decade plus? Looking forward to Christmas only to have it nearly kill me by January 5?
After about a week of being back at work (back at work means sitting in our home office nook with the door between me and the kitchen closed), I think I nearly had a panic attack. B found out he didn’t get a job he’d made it to second-round interviews for and in the moment we found out, I was OK. Then as it simmered in my mind, it gradually threw me into a tailspin.
Thoughts in overdrive paralyzed me: of our future, and the limbo of it all; not knowing if I’d be going back to an office or working from home long-term; living in an expensive area on one income; missing social encounters, and knowing so few people here; my husband’s stressful and futile job hunt; making sure H was happy despite not really getting to be a kid. I reached out to some of my peers about therapy. And by some miracle I had an appointment booked the following week.
After maternity leave, which felt like a five-month family staycation, minus a few camping trips and weekends in Tahoe, I returned to work at the end of September. Going back to work was probably the easiest part of the year. For me, anyway. My husband has the hardest job: He's taking care of the two kiddos around the clock. And when he’s not, he’s trying to keep up with unemployment claims and job-hunting. B deserves a diamond mine for the year he’s had. And somehow he's remained mostly upbeat. H goes to school M/W/F from 8:30am to 3pm, which means Tuesdays and Thursdays can be a bit chaotic. I work from our office nook M-F, from 9 to 5. B does school drop-offs and pickups, and tries to keep the kids occupied as long as he can outside the house. I try to give him breaks on the weekends here and there, but they have been few and far between. Often we divide and conquer on the weekends. We joke at how relaxing it is when you only have one kid under your watch.
Overall, I’d say we are in the weeds most of the time. Our 4-year-old has some really strong feelings, good and bad, and he demands a lot of attention from us. We have a playroom over the garage, which we thought would be his sanctuary, but much like our pup Agnes isn’t content to be left outside like most other dogs — H doesn’t want to play by himself in the playroom when he could be down in the living room with us.
A couple of months ago we were coping with pretty regular, almost to the minute, daily tantrums and it was stressful. They occurred generally when we'd ask him to do something to prepare to leave the house. I looked up essays and articles and videos and tips on how to cope with this type of thing, and it's gotten way better, but we still encounter what I call the agora-monster from time to time.
Baby Skylar continues to be our northern lights. There's just something about her that is incandescent and other-wordly. She's like the happiness fairy, sprinkling happy fairy dust all over the place. H was the nth attempt at trying to get pregnant (loud and proud IVF mom) and I said it then and I'll say it again, the fact we may not have known Skylar had we been successful in failed embryo transfers before her is... whoa... a bit of a mindblow. In the moment of infertility battles, nobody wants to hear "everything happens for a reason," but I hope anyone reading this with their own struggles is reminded to never give up.
Skylar is babbling “mamamamama,” “daddaddadadaa” and her new “bahhbwaaa.” She has the cutest laugh and she squeals really loud when she's excited, her dimples and blue eyes could melt a tyrant's heart, and I question daily how we ever made such a delightful creature.
I'll leave you with a few of my favorite, recent relatable reads on the pandemic and this strange life we've lived the past year.
We have to grieve our last good days (Julie Beck, The Atlantic)
We have all it a wall (Sarah Lyall, NYT)
Living where we work (Katie Hawkins-Gaar, My Sweet Dumb Brain)
Running to the office sparks dread, anxiety (Julie Creswell, Peter Eavis, NYT)
Make time for 'me time' (Elizabeth Grace Saunders, Harvard Business Review)
Your pandemic baby's coming out party (Elizabeth Preston, NYT)
The pandemic has turned our content-crazed society into an even more devouring populace. Just when we thought we'd reached peak streaming, another service pops up that we must sign up for. If you are constantly asking friends for recommendations, let me save you a text or an email. Here are our latest picks.
The pandemic has turned our content-crazed society into an even more devouring populace. Just when we thought we'd reached peak streaming, another service pops up that we must sign up for. And yet somehow, we’re left wasting time every night deciding what to watch (if you haven’t seen Abby Wambach’s hilarious IG videos on this theme, treat yourself). I don’t have a lot of down time, but when we do get the kids to bed, or when I take Agnes for a 30-minute walk break, or I'm washing dishes, folding laundry or making lunches, I’ll pop on a British/Scandi crime show or I’ll tune into a podcast.
If you are constantly asking friends for recommendations, let me save you a text or an email. Here are our latest picks:
Listening:
Reading:
Watching/finished recently:
Share some of your recent faves in the comments below.
]]>While I still consider myself a bit of a foodie, my dining out has been slightly curtailed by kids, and of course this year, the coronavirus. I would love to start sharing my wins in the kitchen here with you in the hopes we might start to exchange recipes. I'm always looking for inspiration and new ideas on how to cook efficiently with little kids in the house, who demand so much of our time and energy. There was a time when I felt like impressing my husband with an elaborate recipe/meal, and those days are no longer.
What are you doing for Thanksgiving? We will be in our home in Marin, I actually have to work a half-day (as is typical in the news industry) and it will just be the four of us. I can't remember the last time we didn't have Thanksgiving with at least one set of our parents. It has probably been over 10 years. I will definitely miss the family this week — we miss them all the time —but we will make the most of it and I think it will actually be really nice.
I dug up some old family recipes to give you a clue of what our Thursday table will look like. It's the first time in 11 years (!!!) I'll be eating turkey. I recently began re-eating meat after an 11-year hiatus as a pescetarian (I blame being pregnant with Skylar).
These are our tried-and-true recipes. We aren't doing anything fancy. With so much uncertainty in the world, I don't need it in the kitchen (we've tried to go fancy with stuffing so many times and it never tastes as good as... see below). Give me the old comforts of Thanksgivings past!
Starting off with...
Stuffed clams with garlic and herbs, a great appetizer for any occasion and a signature of my dad's cooking repertoire
4 cans chopped clams, drained, keep the juice
1 package prepared stuffing (you'll use a little more than half the bag)
1/4 lb melted butter
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp Italian herb seasoning
1 tbl chopped parsley
3 tbl finely minced onion
6 tbl grated Parmesan
salt and pepper to taste, dash of paprika and oregano
Light & Silky Mashed Potatoes, courtesy of Gourmet Magazine
2 lbs. Yukon Gold potatoes
1 ½ tsp salt
2/3 cup whole milk
½ stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter
¼ tsp white pepper
If you're looking to bake a bread this year, consider this sweet and delicious loaf. It tastes great plain or toasted with butter, and even more amazing with turkey leftovers.
Sally Lunn Bread, photo Taste of Home, recipe courtesy of "The Williamsburg Cookbook"
1 cup milk
1/2 cup shortening
4 cups sifted all-purpose flour, divided
1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp salt
2 pkgs active dry yeast
3 eggs
Asparagus with Swiss Cheese, one of my most favorite side dishes ever
2 lbs cooked asparagus (keep in mind they’ll be baking in an oven so better to undercook them, steaming for a hot minute works best)
salt and pepper to taste
3 tbl mayo
2 tsp lemon juice
1/3 cup parmesan
1/2 cup Swiss cheese
1/4 cup butter
Pepperidge Farm stuffing
As I mentioned above, I have tried to be adventurous in the stuffing department and it was a big disappointment. So this year we’re sticking to the basic bag o’ stuffing. Pro tip: stuff cold stuffing in the turkey. And we are 100% team Pepperidge Farm over Stove Top.
My mom's gravy trick:
For years, I’ve shadowed my mom at the gravy station. She did the same with her mom and I’m sharing their methods here. We make the gravy in the pan the turkey cooked in. First, we empty all but a thin layer of the drippings into a container and keep close by. Placing the pan with the thin layer of drippings over two burners on the stove, we then add a couple tablespoons of flour and slowly mix in with the drippings, a couple tablespoons at a time, until it bubbles and thickens each time. When you run out of drippings, we then alternate water (or turkey stock) with the flour, depending on how much gravy you want. We never have enough gravy for the amount of leftovers. It gets hot standing over the stove and people will likely grow impatient as you slowly add components, but I swear it’s worth it and this gravy is better than any store-bought, restaurant-made gravy.
Last but not least, the turkey
This is the first time we're making a turkey without the help of parents to coach us through. We did a test bird a couple of weeks ago and it came out great. We went with Ina Garten's recipe. She's the cooking authority/bible in our house (I own four of her books and my mom has the entire collection on both coasts), and she's typically my first check — WWID — when we're looking for ways to cook things.
1/4 pound (1 stick) unsalted butter
1 lemon, zested and juiced
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 fresh turkey (10 to 12 pounds)
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 large bunch fresh thyme
1 whole lemon, halved
1 Spanish onion, quartered
1 head garlic, halved crosswise
Et voila. Would love to hear what y'all are up to this week. Please share in the comments!
]]>Last year, thanks to some inspiration from a friend, I chose three words that would steer me on my 365-day trip around the sun.They were discernment, cultivate and persistence. Discernment, to remind me to remember what was important in the grand scheme of life and what to shake off. Cultivate, as in relationships, mainly. And persistence. It barely needs explaining, but on our continued, difficult road to conceiving (finally had luck at the end of 2019), persistence was 1,000% integral.
As my family launches into a new exciting year/decade — more on that TK — I can say my 2019 words definitely contributed to where we're headed in 2020.
Have you tried picking three words for the year? Here's a little bit on where it started.
Without further ado, here are my 3 words:
Open. To new possibilities, experiences, people and adventures. I feel like I've been living like a bit of a hermit in our Rancho Palos Verdes bubble. I'm looking to get out of my comfort zone more in 2020.
Move. Both physically and figuratively, on various projects (some in my head, some already in motion). I've been pretty sedentary these past few years since having LG. Even with a baby in the belly, I'm trying to focus more energy on physical activity. And I want to be focusing on forward progress on my business idea and its evolution.
Absorb. I want learning to be a focus of 2020. With this comes more reading. Send me all your favorite book suggestions, both non-fiction and fiction, please.
Do any of these resonate with you? Are you a resolution(s) person? Share with us in the comments how you embrace the new year and new beginnings!
]]>Today marks three weeks since movers packed us up and out of our two-bedroom apartment in Rancho Palos Verdes. Sunday will be three weeks for me in our new house (yes, a real standalone, single-family house!) in Marin County. To say we've been supremely busy the past two months would be the understatement of the century. I haven't done anything non-moving or non-unpacking/settling-in related since the first week in January. OK, I lied, I finally got a much-needed haircut two days ago.
Moving oneself is a lot of work. Moving the husband, the child and two pets is exponentially more challenging. I knew we'd collected stuff for LG, between monthly boxes of toys and clothes from two sets of grandparents, and the stuff we buy him regularly. I didn't realize each of our pets would need their own giant Rubbermaids for beds, collars, jackets, toys and meds. Or that the contents of our dresser would take up six boxes.
I made countless trips to Goodwill, sent bags and boxes to ThredUp, and still we seemed to have endless amounts of stuff. The last 10-15 boxes were the hardest to pack. At that point, if an item hadn't already found a home in one of the boxes in the medieval cardboard tower in the corner of our apartment, I was compelled to throw it away and never see it again.
On top of the packing, there were so many logistics to figure out. Of course, finding a house was the most pressing and challenging. Finding a good school for LG — with space mid-year for him — was an added stressor. This was the first move where that was a serious consideration. Between MainMan and I, we took three trips to the Bay Area to find "the one," or the house that checked off all of our criteria. We came close to applying to a couple of places, but yours truly stuck to her Goldilocks ways and found reasons why they weren't quite right.
I emailed friends in the area. I chatted neighborhoods with future coworkers. About the East Bay. The city. Marin. San Mateo County. I was Googling all kinds of "best places" lists, until we landed in San Rafael. A family friend lives here with his wife and two kids, and he detailed the S.F. commute to me (he takes the ferry daily), and while at first Google-maps-glance it looked too far away from my office, after looking at a lot of other homes in neighboring towns, we found a sweet little cottage house in a cute, residential neighborhood. I decided the commute was worth dealing with for LG to have a yard (front and back), a playroom and for us all to enjoy the luxury of a small garage for storage items. We could not be happier. And we hope if you're reading this, you'll come visit. Did I mention we're 30 minutes away from wine country?
Before I start documenting our adventures from our new town, I wanted to reflect on this past decade, and where I've/we've been. Surreal to imagine I uprooted myself at the beginning of the previous decade, leaving New York City for Los Angeles to be with MainMan (we met at a wedding in Sept. '09 and after a few months of long-distance dating, I decided to move there in May '10 to give us a real shot). And now, here we are in a new decade, having just completed another life-altering transition. We survived a few moves in the '10s, but none feel quite as momentous as this one.
After living in New York for six years, and in my roaring 20s no less, I considered myself a diehard New Yorker. I relished the sunshine and coastline of southern California, but I accepted that Los Angeles and its environs could never be my Manhattan. This changed. After seven-plus years of living in several neighborhoods throughout Southern California, it became that and more. Here are some of the great memories I'll cherish and take with me for the rest of our lifetimes.
Oh, Southern California, to me you'll always be...
The first place I went camping. And subsequently where I got the lifelong camping bug. We'll miss you Leo Carillo, Sycamore Canyon and Joshua Tree, to name a few of our favorite spots.
Where I got SCUBA-certified. While life in the parenting lane has prevented us from doing any SCUBA of late, I will never forget my first dives off Casino Point on Catalina. And the follow-up Buffalo Milk cocktails at various bars after to celebrate.
My first home with the love of my life. From "three's company" nights at the Palazzo in West L.A. to our red barnyard apartment in Culver City. The hidden treasure that was El Segundo. A brief hiccup to South Carolina. Then back to California again. To Mission Valley in San Diego and our last home in Rancho Palos Verdes.
The land of endless palm trees and sunshine. I actually missed the rain and clouds a bit living in SoCal. MainMan would tease me I was the only person in L.A. who complained about it always being sunny.
Beaches, beaches, beaches. Some wide open and endless, others small patches of sand. We hit them all from Ventura County to Mission Beach in San Diego. RAT beach, Hermosa Beach, Manhattan Beach, Venice Beach, Mother's Beach, Tourmaline, Rosie's Dog Beach, Topanga, Zuma Beach, La Jolla Cove, Coronado Beach. Whether it was for a quick surfing session, a shore dive, an open-water swim practice or a playdate with dolphins and whale spouts, the beaches of Southern California are some of the prettiest in the world.
My preferred destination for margaritas and burritos. I bit into my first California burrito at Don Bravo's in San Diego. None have compared since. We became regulars at our local Mexican spot in PV where the mole and margaritas were part of my weekly diet. I will look, in vain likely, for a replacement in our new town...
Harrison's first almost everything: First dip in the ocean, first steps, first words, first (and second) apartments, first golf tournament, first camping trip, first crawl, first school, first (and only) nanny, baptism, first Disney trip, first boat ride, first skate park, first train ride, first pumpkin patch, first Santa's lap, first Halloween, Thanksgiving, first flight from LAX to Hawaii, first night in a hotel, first school concert, I'm sure I'm missing something.
The home of Agnes B. I volunteered for a dog rescue in L.A., which is where and how I fell in love with our furst baby. You can take the pup out of Southern California, but you can't take the Southern California out of the pup. Our bulldog mix, who's nearing 10, hates the rain. Like even when she's in her fancy raincoat. And she loves a good sunbathing spot. I hope she survives the northern California climate. There's never been a sweeter, more loyal, devoted and loving fur friend on the planet. And I will forever be indebted to the colleague who introduced me to the dog rescue where we found her.
The birthplace of Moni Makai. I'm sure many of you are wondering, "Oh yeah, that!?" The factory has completed the first run of our clothing line (literally our last day in SoCal is when I got the call "We're finished!" Fancy that.) Now I just need to get the clothes in my hands, and figure out where we're doing our first photo shoot. So much for a Palm Springs weekend! I'll need to find somewhere up in the Bay Area now. My factory works with people remotely so we'll give that a go for a while. The move and my new job have curtailed progress on the clothing line front, but I'm committed to seeing it through and getting fun coordinated mother/child outfits out there for the world to enjoy.
Sunset picnics with PPLQ. Surprise birthday dinners with JF and SM. Kiddo birthday parties and shenanigans with DM and co. Long Beach dinners with KG. Mexican dinners and SP brewery dates with CW and KS.
Where we completed the "SoCal board sport triple." There are few places in the world where you can hit the slopes and surf in the same day. We committed to doing this with a few friends and it was a blast. After skiing/snowboarding at Mountain High (86 miles from L.A.), we hit Santa Monica for a surf session. Someone brought a skateboard so we could all hop on one in the parking lot to complete the triple. To celebrate our feat, we grabbed some pints at Ye Old King's Head in SM.
Home of the most frightening Halloween shenanigans From the Queen Mary's Dark Harbor, to the Haunted Hayride in Griffith Park and a night sponsored by "American Horror Story" at an abandoned psych hospital. It will be hard to top L.A.'s Halloween.
Home of Terranea. We discovered the amazing Hawaii-esque resort less than 10 minutes from our home in PV and we made a point to visit often. When we weren't sipping on pricy cocktails at picnic tables overlooking the Pacific at their "sports bar" Nelson's, we were walking the coastal loop with Agnes that was open to the public. Or diving from the rocky shoreline below the resort. It was a trek with all of our equipment, but the dive there on a "good viz" day was one of my all-time favorite shore dives.
Where I launched a successful dog-walking business. After two years and change I greatly missed human interaction, but the decision helped me overcome a not-so-great work situation, got me in pre-wedding shape and got me outside and working with animals. If you're ever in a rut, I highly recommend this as a viable option.
Where MainMan got down on one knee in July 2012. And I was too busy watching a family of ducks float by on Big Bear Lake to hear him or understand what was happening.
Where we were able to conceive our second child, with the help of Dr. Baek at California Fertility Partners in Santa Monica. And where our three embryos will continue to live in their frozen home until/if we ever decide to have another child.
The home of my happy place. Disney movies were a huge part of my childhood, and from the moment I stepped foot in EuroDisney in middle school, I became a fan of the parks, as well. (My parents took me to Disneyland when I was really little, but I have no recollection of it, other than I had to go on Haunted House twice because I lost a shoe.) Being an hour's drive away from Disneyland was one of the biggest perks of living in Southern California. When I was single I would often play hooky and just go to the park by myself (MainMan does not share the same passion I have for it). Experiencing the parks with LG was a whole new experience, that only got better every time we visited. The week we moved we made sure to sneak in one final trip with YiYi, our former nanny. It was a blast. We'll miss you, Tigger and friends!
****
"What are you going to miss most about your home?" My mom asked.
"The view," I said. Without hesitation.
Discovering the Palos Verdes Peninsula was a game-changer. I don't think I could live anywhere else in L.A. County. It was a hidden pocket of coastal yumminess not known by many.
"My Aggie coastal walks. And LG's school," I added.
I sobbed on the last day picking LG up from the PV Montessori Academy. We will miss the teachers and administrators there. And while I know we will discover new walks with Aggie, none will be quite as easily accessible and beautiful as Point Vicente with its lighthouse backdrop.
One thing is certain. I often focused on loving what was outside our apartments in Southern California. Here, in our new home, I can finally focus on loving what's inside. And that is a welcome change.
]]>Hi! Thanks for stopping by.
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and we. Are. Here. For. It.
Our road to conceiving was difficult and complicated. And while we had our miracle rainbow son after multiple fertility treatments and a whole lotta heartache, we have continued to struggle getting pregnant with our second child. We’re excited for the future — we’ve teamed up with a new doctor since our two back-to-back failed embryo transfers last year — but this road is often dark and lonely. And we wouldn’t have survived without the support of friends and family.
If you have a friend who is coping with infertility, you may be wondering what on earth you can do to help them. I hope some of my suggestions might help you navigate these murky waters. Your friend(s) needs you right now. Even if they may not have the will or the strength to discuss what they’re going through at length.
Some of this may come off as harsh, but infertility is harsh. One friend called it the “ultimate mindf***.” And that it is. And this isn’t meant to scold my friends. My friends have been incredibly supportive over the years and I think we have all learned from this. But if I can enlighten a stranger or someone on the internet who’s curious how to show up and help their friend, who is likely in a lot of pain, this is for them. I owe it to that brave infertility sister to keep it as real as possible.
There’s a whole marketplace on Etsy designated for infertility. Check it out here.
]]>I've been quiet here, trying to figure out how to break the ice these past two weeks.
Here are some blog topics I was pondering to help with the awkward silence:
*best fall activities for the family
*our favorite fall recipes
*the ultimate California road trip
*10 things to do in Sonoma
*day in the life of mom/digital editor/small business founder
*an advanced guide to surviving Black Friday
*fall fashion tips (though it's a balmy 80 degrees here in Southern California today)
So, how about them Red Sox?!
(Congratulations, Boston fans. We were sad to see our Yankees crumble so badly, but I digress.)
All of my ideas felt kind of disingenuous, when all I wanted to do was write about our latest KO in our (in)fertility match.
Our family has been struggling for two weeks following the devastating news that the last of our four frozen embryos from a 2015 IVF round did not take. I'd barely recovered from our previous failed transfer in June.
We got the call two weeks ago on Tuesday. Right in the parking lot of LG's Montessori school before pick-up.
"We do not detect a pregnancy at this time. We are very sorry, but the doctor would like to book a follow-up consultation with you --"
"Um, yeah, we're not ready for that right now, but thanks," I said as I hung up the phone, fighting back tears. I was having deja-vu. We've gotten calls like this four times in the past.
I looked over at my husband. "It's what I already knew," I said. I had taken two at-home pregnancy tests. Both were negative. While I'd pretty much given up, a very small part of me was hoping for a miracle.
My husband nodded at me, grabbed my hand and we ran in to rescue our kiddo from school where we squeezed him till he popped.
So this puts us at 0-2 with our fertility clinic in Redondo Beach. And I'll probably question everything they did/I did these past several months, possibly for forever. Like having a new crush might help someone get over a bad breakup, you don't really recover from these failed transfers/fertility treatments until you're blessed (some will never be) with a healthy pregnancy.
We started this whole process back in South Carolina in 2014 and I wrote about it here in the Guardian and here in The Huffington Post. I've gotten so many lovely emails and messages from women -- both friends and strangers -- who have been through similar infertility battles that if I ever debate writing about this the answer is yes, Monica, write the thing. If it reaches one person in need, that's enough.
Our infertility story ended, or so I thought, when we got a BFP (or "big fat positive" in the social world of TTC or "trying to conceive") back in December 2015. Our beautiful son was born the following August. It took us until this spring to feel ready to start thinking about transferring our third embryo (we transferred one at a time and the first one didn't take before the embryo that became LG did). Moving forward was going to involve a big cross-country move for our two remaining embabies who were on ice at the fertility lab in Charleston.
After a horrendous ordeal of 2,984 notaries, 239 documents and scans, and $2,000 in shipping bills, we got our embabies to our new clinic in Redondo. We transferred our third embaby back in June. It did not take. This gutted me in ways I didn't expect to be gutted. I thought for sure with a child that the pain of a failed transfer would be dulled. It was not. Here's the reaction I posted on Facebook.
We waited a couple of months. It feels necessary every time you get a BFN. We did what's called a "mock transfer," where they take a biopsy of your uterus to make sure the prescribed hormones are doing their job and that the timing is right, and after that we went for it. We transferred our very last embryo. We had no idea what the sex was, but we wanted it to be ours.
And once again, we failed it.
I went from wanting a big family, of 3 or 4 kids, and feeling confident this would happen despite the challenges we've had conceiving, to being fearful we may not even have two children.
One of my best friends sent me this card in the mail and it is so perfect.
There may be many more meltdowns in my future. Looking back it took a miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy and a BFN before we had LG. And while I wish a slightly less painful path to our second child, I told my mom I'd take five more failures if it meant we'd get a LG 2.0.
I've written a longer essay that I've pitched to some media outlets, with the hopes it gets picked up titled "Grappling with 'secondary infertility' when trying to conceive baby no. 2." Consider this the G-rated version. Secondary infertility is the "inability to become pregnant or to carry a baby to term after previously giving birth to a baby." I'm not wild about this phrase because it implies we're only having problems getting pregnant this time around and this is not the case. Nothing is secondary about what we've been through.
People often feel the need to remind me how lucky we are to have LG. I like to think of us as lucky unlucky ones. We have one amazing kiddo, and yes, that makes us extremely beyond lucky. His smile could melt a steel safe and his giggles could warm the heart of the coldest brute in Siberia. I love him with all my heart and all the energy my soul emits.
I don’t feel lucky, however, to reside in this messy world of infertility. I didn’t feel lucky when I went in for an ultrasound a few weeks after a BFP from an IUI and the doctor found NOTHING. I didn’t feel lucky when I was keeled over the toilet in agony in the throws of a miscarriage. I didn’t feel lucky the times I could barely sit down because my ass was so sore from the 2-inch long needles I was taking every night. And I didn’t feel lucky when I got two calls this year from a nurse telling me the final embryos we had in our arsenal, our last hopes for a baby this round, did not implant.
I'm trying to keep my head up. And I feel hopeful for the future, though I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I was pregnant. I wish I didn't have to go through all of this all over again. The thought of more appointments, more BFNs, more needles and more hormones, not to mention the money. It's so much. But LG will be my constant reminder. That it is/was worth it. And we will try again, and possibly in the hands of new doctors to get a totally fresh start. I just need a little time to get ready.
]]>I've been meaning to write something on our favorite books du jour (really, it feels like LG's preferences with everything in his little world: food, toys, play, sleep, etc. change every day). Sometimes we can get overwhelmed walking into a book store (or even library) without any direction. I'm hoping those who stumble upon this list will find some new books to seek out for their littles. And certainly we'd love to hear your faves in the likely event they're not listed here. Without further ado, here are some books our 2-year-old loves and maybe your toddler will, too!
"A is for Apple" by Georgie Birkett. This one is super cute. It lets your little ones trace the letters of the alphabet on each page. LG just started practicing letters at his Montessori school so we're excited to augment his lessons there with this cute book.
Bonus it has flaps!
"Together" by Emma Dodd. Growing up in Northern California, sea otters are among my family's favorite animals, so it was no surprise my mom bought this book for us when we were pregnant. Emma Dodd is an author-illustrator from the UK and we love all the books in her "foil series."
Her words are simple and powerful.
"My Big Truck Book" by Roger Priddy. If your kiddo is into trucks, RUN and get this book. We stumbled upon it at our local kids consignment store Double Time in Redondo Beach and it is probably LG's top pick right now. He's always pointing out trucks and construction vehicles while we're on the road so I saw it and picked it up without hesitation. After reading/studying this book myself, I can now point with confidence at a backhoe and an excavator (seriously, NEVER knew that's what those things were called until a month ago) and LG is picking up the terms quickly, too!
I mean, how can you go wrong?
"Gallop!" by Rufus Butler Seder. This was a fun find at one of our local gift shops. LG still loves to flip through it and move the pages around to see the animals movingTouch Think Learn: Colors by Xavier Deneux. This is probably one of my favorite books. The details are really darling. Deneux is a Paris-based author-illustrator and he has a lot of cute books like this one to choose fromSimple and adorable.
"Five Little Pumpkins" by Natalie Marshall. Not an original tale, of course, but we love the way Marshall presents it. LG was into this one early and he still picks it up from time to time. The tabs make it super easy for your baby/toddler to turn the pages. And LG love pointing out the hidden details -- like snails and ladybugs on the pumpkins. Since it's almost October, we wanted to get this on the list.
Cute they have these signs/actions to do on each page.
"Pairs Underwater" by Smriti Prasadam-Halls: The matching concept is something we've just started exploring and LG seems to really enjoy it. So you'll see a few of this kind of theme in our list. My mom sent us this one and it's really cute.
LG has been into flap books since like day 1. Cannot go wrong with flaps of any kind.
"1001 Things to Spot in the Sea" by Anna Milbourne and Katie Daynes: This was another consignment store discovery. I don't know if my parents would find this exact version in our basement from growing up, but I could swear with 95% certainty that I too loved these books. Something about the illustrations is familiar.
There are about a dozen of these books with various themes. We also own "1001 Animals to Spot," but this ocean one is still his fave go-to. LG loves to point out the images when you ask him, "Where's the...?" And with numbers, too, it's great for early counters.
"Matching Game Book: Animals" by Julie Mercier. Another cute option for animal-matching lovers.
"Night Night, Farm" by Amy Parker. We have a few of these "Night Night" books and they're really sweet. I love the feel of them and everything -- they're like a board book but with a soft, cushy cover. The illustrations by Virginia Allyn are a definite highlight.
And that's all folks! I could probably do another list of 10 next week, but this is a good start. Again, let us know if you see something your family loves, too, or share some of your faves in the comments below. We always love hearing from you!
]]>I'm gearing up for my 39th birthday in a few weeks (GULP!), and there's nothing I like more than planning a camping trip for the festivities. People often ask me for recommendations of where to camp in California, so I've put together this trusty guide.
In the days before LG, we probably went camping at least once a month. It was part of my "staying sane in L.A." routine. I needed the escape/camping fix regularly while barely surviving the hustle and bustle of our concrete paradise. We'd pack up the car Fridays then ship out as soon as we were off work, or often first thing Saturday mornings. There were overnight trips, and long weekend trips. There were trips that were just a couple hours away, and trips as far north as Mammoth and Carmel. We are car/tent campers. I'm not hardcore enough to hike somewhere with gear on my back. I can barely survive with a car nearby (just ask MainMan about the time I tried sleeping in the car because mysterious noises outside our tent gave me the spooks).
I'm ashamed to admit, we have yet to take LG camping. We haven't quite nailed down logistics of sleeping in one tent with a toddler and a dog, but MainMan keeps saying we just have to break the ice to figure it out. He's probably right. I look forward to adding an appendix/sequel to this post when we do end up going: "Tips for camping with a toddler."
Until then, as a proud Californian, here is our list of the top spots to pitch a tent. Or an RV. Or whatever floats the rocks in your margarita.
Joshua Tree:
Joshua Tree holds a special place in my heart. I can't say I loved it at first sight. I was used to camping near the ocean in Malibu until we ventured east one weekend to check out Joshua Tree National Park. At first it seems like a hunk of rocks, which in theory it kind of is, but there's something soothing and calming about the quiet, other-worldly vastness of the desert. You don't need to drive to Montana to get big sky. You can find it just a couple hours from L.A. in Joshua Tree. White Tank campground and Jumbo Rocks campground are our faves. There's loads of hiking and rock climbing all around you -- just make sure if you have a dog you check out what trails are dog-friendly. Camping rookie tip: While driving to the last spot in the campground where you're all by yourself seems like a good idea at the time, it could get a little spooky at night when it's just you and nobody else is around. We learned our lesson to camp near-ish to other folks for added comfort if anything weird happens.
Big Sur:
My parents bought a home in Carmel almost 20 years ago and I am lucky to consider it my second home. Big Sur, just minutes south of Carmel, is one of my favorite places on the planet -- I ran the marathon there twice -- so naturally I am recommending it to anyone who is considering camping in California.
In Big Sur you won't necessarily be camping on the beach, but you can find campsites with some stunning views of the Pacific Ocean and some "beach access" trails.
Our favorites include: Kirk Creek Campground, Limekiln State Park and Ventana.
Sequoia National Park:
Sequoia National Park probably wins my favorite camping destination of ALL TIME award. We camped in Lodgepole at one of the sites overlooking a nearby stream and it was so idyllic and beautiful -- like everything you envision a campsite to be. Not to mention we spotted several bears on our trip, which really brought home the ol' "out in the wilderness" feel. This was our set-up back in 2011.
I can't find which campsite number this was, but if you're booking ahead, just pick one of the sites that backs up onto the river. There was a beautiful hike from Lodgepole to a waterfall, too. And take their recommendations to pack everything in the metal, locked containers they have by every campsite. Or you may get unwanted furry neighbors coming in for some nibbles.
Malibu:
When you think of Malibu, you probably don't think of camping. Am I right? Well, surprise! Malibu has some of the most beautiful (beach) camping in the U.S./world.
Our favorite places to camp in Malibu include: Leo Carillo and Sycamore Canyon (Leo Carillo being closest to L.A. on Rt. 1 and Sycamore being near Pt. Mugu). I'd mention Malibu Creek State Park, where we camped once with friends, but the fact there was a shooting there recently disqualifies it from our list. We won't be hurrying back...
This was me on my first camping trip ever in Sycamore Canyon. Almost nine years ago!!! I met MainMan back in 2009 and I'd never camped a day in my life until he took me. So thank you, MainMan, for introducing me to the wonders of camping. I don't feel like I wanted for much growing up, but I do give my parents grief from time to time for never bringing us camping.
As for what you get in Malibu ... there are some beachside RV sites, but since we only tent/car camp, we've only gone to the two spots I mentioned above. They all have a more woodsy-feel to them, but they are all just across the street from the ocean. What I love about these sites is that while you're close to the ocean, you also get the added privacy with the trees and bushes surrounding every campsite.
Here's MainMan and our girl Agnes at Leo Carillo. There's actually a tunnel under PCH connecting you to the ocean from the campsite. Folks bring their kayaks, surfboards and paddle boards and ride out here all the time. Dogs aren't technically allowed on the beach here, which is kind of a bummer, but later in the day it seems they're more lenient, and Agnes was always leashed up with us. The beach off Sycamore Canyon, which is technically in Ventura County, does happen to be dog-friendly.
Carpinteria:
We found this sleepy surf town by accident and went often when we lived in L.A. the previous time (2010-2015). They have a large camping area that's right on the water. They have a couple sections where you can tent camp, but since it's mainly geared towards RV and trailers, I'd probably skip Carp if you prefer tent-camping. The campsite is divided into four sections: Anacapa, Santa Cruz, Santa Rosa and San Miguel (the Channel Islands). Anacapa and Santa Cruz are for tents, and if you want to be right on the beach, request Santa Cruz. Looks pretty cool, right? The campsite gets pretty mobbed around holiday weekends -- like July 4 -- so I'd suggest camping here during the "off-season."
Kern River:
I forget how we discovered camping along the Kern River. I think one of MainMan's old colleagues recommended it to us. We absolutely loved it and I think it'd be a toss up between here and Joshua Tree if we packed our bags tonight and took off for the weekend. It's a bit farther for us right now living on the Palos Verdes Peninsula (maps says it'd take us about 3.5 hours to get there), but it's still a great spot. It's northeast of Bakersfield and at the southern tip of the Sequoia National Forest (not to be confused with Sequoia National Park which is way north). Kernville is the cute town you can use as your "homebase." This is river camping at its best. There are loads of camping spots here, but we stayed at Sandy Flat campground. Keep in mind hookups are not available at Sandy Flat Campground so it's a perfect tent-topia. We actually brought our fly-fishing gear and went fly-fishing right off our camp spot! We saw loads of folks with small inner tubes who were floating along the river -- which looked like a blast --and we decided the next time we went we'd do this. Here I am looking very serious on the Kern trying to scout the trout.
Big Bear:
Big Bear will always hold a special place in my heart. Why, you ask? Because that's where I got engaged back in 2012 (the story is <- on my old blog). We were camping on the lake and MainMan got down on one knee just before sunset. I had my eyes on a family of ducks swimming by and I totally didn't hear what he said. So embarrassing, and at the same time, classic me. We celebrated for like the next 9 months, in fact, we're still celebrating, but yeah, I love Big Bear -- camping or not. We've actually stayed in cabins there, too, and we love it both ways. We camped at the Serrano Campground which is part of the San Bernardino National Forest. This is right next to Big Bear Shores RV Resort. We walked through that area and had total RV envy. We love our tent, but the mansion-esque RVs there looked pretty awesome.
Here's the view from the lake's edge which is a brief walk from the Serrano campground. Big Bear camping is definitely seasonal. Check the calendar to make sure of closing dates in the fall/winter.
Dana Point
If you're looking for camping in Orange County look no further than Doheny State Beach in Dana Point. Again with a lot of the beach campgrounds, RVs kinda run the place, but you'll find tent spots here and there. And the best thing is you can pack your surfboards and paddleboards and hit the waves/ocean right off your tent. And if you have a car, the cute town of Dana Point isn't too far away.
Mammoth Lakes
Mammoth Lakes is probably one of our favorite destinations in California. Period. Such a special place. And we've stayed in hotels and trailers here. Our favorite area is Convict Lake. Because it's a 10 minute drive from town -- which means you can hop over and get something if you forgot it at home and it's kind of out of the riffraff. One of the campsites near town is New Shady Rest. Our favorites in the Lakes Basin are Lake George Campground and Lake Mary Campground.
Half Moon Bay State Beach
Francis Beach is the campground here. There's not a lot of privacy in these campsites -- there are little to no trees -- so this might not be the best spot for tent-camping, but the views of the beach are pretty rad. And Half Moon Bay is such a fun spot. Especially in the fall!
Places where we'd still love to camp in California: Lake Tahoe, Yosemite, Redwood National and State Parks, Crystal Cove State Park and campgrounds near the popular surf spot of San Onofre.
Happy trails, everyone! And make it a rad day!
-Moni
]]>The Terranea trail loop that ends at Nelson's
One of our favorite low-key activities to do as a family is go out for a stroll. Whether it's just so Agnes does her business before dinner or whether we walk .25-mile down to our local park.
We have a couple of loops in the neighborhood that we do on weekdays, but on the weekends we like to change it up so we'll often hop in the car and drive to some picturesque walking destinations. Lucky for us, we live in a beautiful part of the state and several coastal walks/drives are at our Waze-driven fingertips. And we want to take advantage of it as much as we can while we're here.
In case you're a parent looking to change up the scenery on the weekends (and you absolutely don't have to have kids to enjoy these walks, we're just keeping parents and their strollers in mind since that's what life-stage we're in at the moment), put on your walking/jogging shoes and let's hit the pavement.
Have any faves I didn't mention here? Please share in the comments!
]]>Check out our trusty guide of stuff to do with your kids in the South Bay area.
1. Wonder of Dinosaurs -- this is one of my son's favorite places to go. At first he was a little weary of all the blow-up slides, but now he loves it. Just don't forget a good pair of socks (and preferably ones with grips for the LOs). Children < 2 are free and other rates: Child (2-12): $16 and Adults (13-54): $8. Your ticket is good the entire day.
2. Bogdanovich Park -- this is our nanny's favorite spot to take LG in San Pedro. And just look at it above. No wonder!
3. LA Maritime Museum -- MainMan took LG here a couple of weekends ago and they had a blast. At this stage in LG's walking life, I don't really trust him on big boats (I wouldn't bring him to the Midway in San Diego like we did when we could wear him in a carrier). But this place was very kid-friendly -- lots of open space vs. tight confines of an actual ship -- and they even had an area for the little ones to romp around. No fee here, but donations are welcome.
4. Cabrillo Aquarium -- I love being able to expose LG to the ocean and its creatures in any way we can. This aquarium is underrated. It's the perfect size for the LOs. It rarely gets crowded and it's always fun to have it to yourself for toddler roaming and stumbling. Make sure to check out the great little kids' interactive area in the exploration center -- the first doorway off to the left when you walk through the gates (and where you'll find the tank above that you can crawl under and through). No fee here either, but donations are welcome. And they have lots of cute things for the kids in the gift shop.
5. Aquarium of the Pacific -- I know, this technically isn't the South Bay, but it's too good not to mention. This is a world-class aquarium, but it's a bit of a hike for us from the hill. We're lucky if we make it here about once a month. My only gripes are it's jam-packed on the weekends and a it's a bit short on space in the outdoor exhibit areas. They have a fun little area with stuff for kids to climb on, but it's a madhouse and if your kid's still getting his or her sea legs it's not a great place for them to walk in between bigger kids running around.
6. Rat Beach -- this is a perfect stretch of sand for LG to explore, just off of Paseo de la Playa in Redondo, and there are a few ramps you can use with the stroller to get down to the beach. Our getting-the-stroller-through-the-sand tip: Pull it backwards. There's a huge parking lot with machines you can pay to park in or you can park along the neighboring streets. Just look out for street cleaning days.
7. Little Fish Tales by the Sea -- Every third Thursday of the month the Point Vicente Interpretive Center holds a storytime from 10:30-11:30 a.m. This is a great excuse to go take a walk on one of the most scenic walkways on the PV peninsula and end it with some reading time for your LO.
8. the COOP -- Located in Redondo Beach, this is a great spot for indoor play. Bonus, our nanny says it's never really that crowded. It's $12 here for all-day play.
9. Robert E. Ryan Community Park -- If you're looking for a spot with tons of space for running around, look no further than our neighborhood park in Rancho Palos Verdes off Hawthorne. The views are breathtaking overlooking the coast and Catalina off in the distance. Bring a picnic and spend a sunset here. They have a few different jungle gyms, a basketball court, loads of slides and even a baseball diamond.
10. Brouwerij West in San Pedro -- Why on Earth is she including a link to a brewery in a "things to do with toddlers" list? Because, folks, we all need a little break. And what parent doesn't deserve a little something for themselves? The brewery is fantastic and actually a rip-roaring good time for the LOs. The huge space is very kid-friendly -- there are always families and little kids romping around indoors and out. Kids can wheel around on their razors and 3-wheelers in the courtyard. They don't serve food, but there are always food trucks to choose from (I think you can check in with them on FB or their website for the food truck schedule). If beer's not your thing, check out the open marketplace Crafted right across the parking lot in the neighboring warehouse. I recommend a stroller for the marketplace in case your kid gets handy and tries to grab gifts off the vendors' shelves.
11. Adventureplex in Manhattan Beach -- Our nanny has taken LG here a few times. They have a really cute "ToddlerTown" area with a ball pit that LG was initially afraid of, but now he loves it. It's $12 for two hours of playtime (for 1 adult and 1 child).
12. South Coast Botanic Garden -- If you're looking for an outdoor alternative to the typical playground/park, head on over to these luscious and beautiful gardens off Crenshaw on the PV Peninsula. It's nice to just meander through the flora, but you can also take the kiddos right to the children's discovery garden. Check out their website with event details -- I know they had a kiddie Halloween event and they likely do other seasonal stuff, as well.
Places on our radar we have yet to check out: the SEA Lab in Redondo, the Wilderness Park and Seaside Lagoon.
In addition, WonderTree Kids in El Segundo offers kid/parent classes -- LG went to a music class with a friend there a few weeks ago -- and while I love the idea, it's too far for us to go on a weekly basis.
What are some of your favorite family hangouts? We'd love to hear from you in the comments. We're also putting together another list of great stroller-friendly walks.
Stay tuned and make it a rad day!
-Moni
]]>My son turns 18 months today. 18 months. That's about 548 days and nights MainMan and I have shared guiding, raising, nurturing and protecting him.
Looking back at photos of the past 18 months I wonder how can this be? And I marvel at how so much has changed since he arrived on his due date back in 2016.
Before having my own child, I rolled my eyes at the countless parental monthly birthday photos.
"A photo for 14 months? A photo for 15 months?!" I'd grumble. YAWN.
But now that I'm on the other side of this glorious, blessed thing called motherhood, I completely get it. Can we just keep celebrating every month like he's an infant? Please?
In honor of our LG's one-and-a-half-birthday, and for posterity's sake since I've done a pretty bad job of keeping track of milestones, I decided to share 18 of our son's favorite toddlerisms -- things he's saying and doing that melt us every moment of every day. May they all linger for as long as possible. I am eating up this stage.
"Boookk": I added an extra "o" and "k" because he doesn't say it like we do. He really emphasizes the o's and the "k" on the end. This morning I walked in to his bedroom and he hadn't seen me for three seconds before he was pointing at a book on the floor and saying "boookk." I love it. He might not listen to the words that accompany said "boookk" very well, but he's an expert at pointing out who the main characters are: pelicans, birds, dogs, turtles, owls, etc.
Tootsies: I started calling LG's little plump round feet "tootsies." Now whenever I say, "Show me your tootsies!" he sticks them up in the air. It doesn't get old. In the car. In the stroller. While I'm changing his diaper. It's a literal kick.
Sign language: I can't emphasize enough how much a game-changer learning signs has been for our LG. We took him to classes when he was about 8-months-old and it took about four months for him to understand the concept that he could actually ask for something with his hands, but once he did it was really amazing to watch. Unfortunately by the time he had figured out the sign for milk (think milking a cow) we yanked bottles from his routine, but he still uses the sign whenever he wants a sip from a cup.
"Buh-bye": Funny some children might pick up "hello" or "hi" as a first word/phrase. Our LG picked up "buh-bye." I have our nanny to thank for that. Whenever they'd get ready to leave the house to go on an adventure she'd ask him, "Are you ready to go buh-bye?" Now it's his go-to for wanting a change of scenery. Over the beach? "Buh-bye." Over the walk? "Buh-bye." This morning Yi-Yi walked in (what he calls our nanny) and he was at the front door eager to go "buh-bye."
"Byeee": For a while LG was only using the phrase "buh-bye." Until he suddenly echoed us at the end of a phone call and blurted out "byeee!" We could not stop cracking up at how cute it was. He has become a little bit of a parrot so we've wiped some words out of the vocabulary. We can get him to say "hi" and "byeee" now fairly regularly, but he's turned "byeee" at home into a kind of hide-and-seek game. Like if he looks at you and says "byeee" he expects you to take off and go hide somewhere. If you don't he whines with frustration.
"Moppeetz": At the end of December after eight months of working full-time, I found myself back in SAHM mode. Our nanny was off for the holidays and my work contract had come to an end on 12/15. I'd forgotten how challenging it was to look after LG by myself all day. Out of desperation, I hoped I might find something on television he might be interested in for a few moments' break from running around the apartment in circles. Enter "Sesame Street." It worked and he became an almost instant fan of the show and "moppeetz" is now a part of his daily vocabulary. From time to time he'll run over to the coffee table ottoman, pick up the remote and say "moppeetz," followed by rubbing his chest with his palm, which is his sign for "please." Then away we go to Sesame Street, to laugh and dance with Elmo and Abby, where the air is sweet.
"Dlah-dluh": This is the best I could do for LG's word for banana. It's the cutest sound I think I have ever heard. And he says it with such conviction every time we say "banana." He eats cereal with bananas every morning and saying the word "banana" is a surefire way to get him over to his highchair.
Making connections: He does it by waving and saying "hi" or "heyyy" to strangers from his stroller. And he does it several times a day while watching the moppeetz and reading books. One of the first "Sesame Street" episodes we watched had Ernie telling Elmo he could have fun in the tub with a rubber ducky. LG sprinted away from the couch and into his bedroom where he fiercely starting yelling "DA! DA! DA! DA!" (his word, we believe, for "that") while pointing at his rubber ducky light at the top of his bookcase. I got it down for him and he ran back into the living room with it. The same thing happened during a spot about brushing teeth. He dashed off to the bathroom and started reaching for his toothbrush in a cup on the sink. OK, bud. OK! Another way he does this is by gathering stuffed animals that he sees in the books we're reading. If the story's about an owl, he'll run to get owl. If the story's about a turtle, he'll run to get turtle, etc. If the story's about a toucan, he'll point to the wooden toucan on his shelf.
Animal ID cards: I don't know what possessed me to buy one in the first place, but now we rarely go on walks without them. If I see a bird or an animal I'll try and find it for him on the cards and he'll point at it and then try to repeat its name to me. He's really good at pointing at the hawk, owl and seal when I ask him, "Where is the...?"
"Mee-mee": Our nanny introduced the phrase to LG very early on in her being with us. She said it was her childhood word for napping and bedtime and she wondered if it might stick with LG. Well, it did and we say it often when it's getting close to naptime -- particularly when we're driving home from morning activities or when we're wrapping up tubby time and it's time for him to go down for the night. It can be a real hoot when you're starting the day with a car ride, it's barely 9 o'clock and LG suddenly says "mee-mee." You might be in for a long morning.
Pickles: LG could be on a hunger strike, refusing to eat all items he eats on the reg: yogurt, sweet potatoes, cheese, pasta, avocado, etc. But throw some chopped pickles on his tray in a bowl with a fork and BAM! It's what's for dinner (lunch, breakfast, snack, etc.).
Wave-runner: We are an ocean-loving family and we are fortunate enough to live by the coast. As someone who loves any and all ocean/water activities (paddling, surfing, kayaking, swimming, SCUBA, etc.), I feel it is my duty to raise a child who ultimately loves the ocean as much, if not more, than we do. Which is why we take him to the beach as often as we can. When we lived in San Diego, we'd bring one of those halfsie-tents (the kind for sun coverage mostly) to the beach. Before he was walking, LG would happily crawl around the inside of this tent, but he was not a fan of touching the sand. When he did he'd stick his hand or tootsie in the air waiting for someone to wipe it off. I don't remember when this behavior changed, but now he loves sand and he is not afraid of the ocean. I wish he was slightly more afraid, then I wouldn't be running after him as he waddle-sprints to just where the waves are breaking. I often have to hold him back from charging the water. Which is why I've dubbed him our little wave-runner.
Ball: Volleyball, basketball, golf ball... Any time he sees a ball on TV or in a book he wants to run and grab one from his stash. He's got a pretty good arm, but we're still working on the catching aspect.
"May": I forget how this initially started, but one of LG's favorite things to do (like mother, like son) is check the mail. He can be in the throws of a meltdown for whatever reason and you ask, "Is it time to go check the mail?" and he immediately runs to the front door and points at the keys on their hook while saying repeatedly, "May. May. May. May." I pick him up, give him the proper key and we waltz outside to our little mailbox on our front stoop. We've informed the grandparents about this favorite activity of his and they've humored us by sending him letters and musical cards (one of his favorite distractions in the car).
Golf: We live about 200 yards up the road from a popular public golf course and one of our favorite weekend activities is to head over to their cafe for breakfast (they make the most amazing egg sandwiches). We're on a first-name basis with the wait-staff and even some of the regulars, and everyone just loves our LG. As soon as he could walk, if not before, we ordered the Little Tikes golf clubs and we always bring them with us so we can hit the putting green after breakfast. LG doesn't last super long and he swings the club more like a one-handed hockey player, but we'll keep taking him because he seems to enjoy the concept of hitting balls at something.
Knuckles: At some point while eating lunch with our nanny, she tried to fist-bump with LG. He wasn't quite getting it. After a few tries and kind of helping him learn what to do with his fingers he started to return the knuckle/fist-bumping. If you say "fist bump" he won't know what to do. But if you say "knuckles" he'll stick his hand out for a bump.
"Da-da": I remember the first time I heard LG say "mama." It was in my bedroom in San Diego. I think I was changing his diaper. I couldn't believe it and I asked him, "What did you say!?" He may have repeated it, he may not have. There was a run where he would say it regularly then it stopped and it was a while until I heard it again. Fast forward a few months and he was saying "mama" and "dada" so often I'm not sure he really knew who was who. I work from home and MainMan commutes to work every day. Which means dada is at the front door lacing up his boots with the help of LG if he's up. We'll say "buy-bye" and for the rest of the day, any time LG hears any noise coming from outside the front door he'll scream "da-da"! It's so cute. Then when MainMan does actually come home, we might be in his room reading books, in my room running up the doggie stairs into the bed, and LG will dash to the door with arms flailing, screaming "Dada. Dada. Dada!" It's truly one of my favorite parts of the day.
Kisses: For most of his life, LG's kisses were merely us bringing his mouth to our cheeks. He'd be a willing participant, but he didn't move his mouth at all. Now suddenly he's gotten the whole smooch thing and it's so cute to hear him do it. Our nanny even got him to attempt blowing kisses. It is similar to the sign he does for "thank you," but we'll take it. All day. Every day.
Are you a parent? How old is your child? And what are some of the memorable things he/she/they are doing? We'd love to hear your stories in the comments.
Oh, and make it a rad day!
-Moni
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